Insomnia alert. It's been a while. I should consider myself lucky.
For some reason last night I stumbled upon a snarky TV/movie site called Videogum -- all the snark we wish, but they print! -- and now I'm a tad bit obsessed with it. Take, for example, the latest post in a running feature, The Hunt for the Worst Movie of All Time. The most recent film up for consideration: The Last Kiss.
I, for one, didn't hate The Last Kiss. There are far worse movies. I think I went into it with the attitude that a lot of people love love looooved Garden State, but I never really did, so I watched with a bit of an alien's eye, thinking, "Oh, then I guess this is the sort of scene and dialogue that people who liked Garden State will like. Got it." I walked out afterward and sort of thought, eh, that was ... fine, I guess.
And then the more I thought about it, the less I could remember why I thought it was fine, except for the fact that Rachel Bilson is cute as a button. And then I caught it on cable again and the whole thing was just so weighed down, and grim, and people were unhappy, and .... wasn't this pitched as something of a romantic comedy? Or at least a romance? There is neither in this movie. There is people yelling at each other and thinking of cheating and being mad and feeling sorry and complaining that life is very hard.
Anyway, everything that I have said above is expressed in this hilarious post, except better because this guy HATES the movie and skewers it like it's a writhing vampire and he's Buffy. My favorite line: "Women! Can't live with them, can't fuck another woman in a dorm room without them getting so mad!"
Give it a read whether you liked The Last Kiss or not. (As a test, I sent the post to a co-worker who LIKED the movie and has a man-crush on Zach Braff -- and he thought it was hilarious.) For those of you who haven't seen it, you are both lucky and unlucky: lucky to have saved yourself the two hours, but unlucky because you won't get most of the jokes in this post.
Also in the feature are good rants on AI and the last Indiana Jones movie, both of which I had very serious issues with. But I think I'm going to nominate 88 Minutes, which I saw last year and, despite years of fence-riding on this particular issue, I'm finally going to come out and declare as the worst movie I've ever seen in my life. Worse, even, than Batman and Robin. Worse than Major League II.
One caveat: I didn't see The Happening, so if I'm really going to make this definitive claim, I may have to give that one a go for comparison's purposes. Is there a reward for this kind of voluntary suffering in the afterlife?