insomnia haiku

"He's coming for the party?"

Um... WTF, Kristen Bell?

I'm not one of those "Veronica Mars" fans who worship at the cult of Kristen Bell, but I do find her funny and appealing. This clip from "Ellen," in which she completely flips the freak out about a sloth coming to her birthday party, is endearing and disturbing and hilarious all at once and I cannot stop watching it. CANNOT. STOP. 

Though I'm worried about her sanity, I'm pretty sure I love her now.

The Roast Chicken Project: Mark Bittman's Simplest Roast Chicken

For Lydia's third roast chicken, I wanted a recipe that involved either turning the chicken, or playing with oven temperature. I decided to go with Mark Bittman's "Minimalist's Simplest Roast Chicken" recipe, which calls for placing an oiled chicken in a heated cast-iron skillet, roasting the chicken at 500 degrees, then turning the oven down to 350 degrees. Putting the chicken in a heated pan starts the legs cooking before the breast, and lowering the heat then prevents the breast from overcooking.

The problem: Lydia didn't have a cast-iron skillet, or any other skillet that you can put in the oven. And a roasting pan wasn't going to conduct the same amount of heat. I was going to start searching for another recipe, but then Lydia, dedicated project-er that she is, cheerfully volunteered to buy one. (Which is good, because recipe #4 is going to require a cast-iron skillet, too. It's also good because cast-iron skillets are wonderful things to have.)

Here is her bounty, a 12-inch Lodge:

Congratulations on the newest addition to your kitchen, Lydia! May you get years and years of enjoyment out of it. A cast-iron skillet is excellent, as my brother pointed out, for making panini ... or, as a colleague pointed out, for bashing a mouse with it and killing it dead.

Mandatory side dishes this time: green beans, again (using a different method than the sauteeing of the first project); and roasted potatoes, via the parboil-then-roast method suggested by my brother Brian. I made these recently and they were incredible -- they turned out almost like big, crispy + fluffy french fries. It probably did not hurt that I followed his instructions and used bacon fat. But then, how many things are ruined by adding bacon fat? Um, none, that's how many.

And now, on to the project.

Roast Chicken #2: Ina Garten

Roast Chicken #1: Thomas Keller

Ed. note: Good girl!

Ed note: I did not see any of these texts until this point, as I was out doing karaoke for a friend's birthday. My version of Counting Crows' "Mr. Jones" killed. Anyway, here I saw the texts and suggested she cut into the thigh to see if the juices ran clear.

Ed. note: Maybe...

Ed note: I suggested that next time she blanche instead of parboil. Me, I usually dispense with the blanching and just saute the hell out of mine, steaming them a bit at the end... but then I like mine a little burned, Chinese-style.

So there you have it. New cast-iron skillet, "best so far" chicken, amazing potatoes! Unfortunately, during the process I couldn't help Lydia much with whether the chicken was done or not, as I couldn't tell from the pictures -- it looked good to me, but hard to say. I'm going to guess that opening the oven door frequently may have thrown the cooking off a little. But I don't really mind if the breast meat is a touch pink.

I don't have a recipe for chicken salad; I just add mayo, maybe some pickles or celery, with possible additions of walnuts, apple, raisins, even a little salad dressing. (Usually just mayo if that's all I've got. I still dig it.) I think this is just one of those things you have to do a few times, sans recipe, until you figure out what proportions you like -- it's certainly something my mom had me make when I was younger, and I didn't even realize I was learning a skill. But I'll try looking for a recipe anyway. My question to you: What do you like to add when you make chicken salad?

Coming up next time: Yes, you guessed it, I'll be throwing the Zuni Cafe roast chicken with bread salad at Lydia. Probably won't add sides at all, unless any of you can think of some (besides potatoes and green beans) that would go well with that. But I think the bread salad should be plenty. And I may even make it alongside her, just because I love it so much.

The more other directors change, the more Wes Anderson stays the same

This trailer for the new Wes Anderson movie "Moonrise Kingdom," due out on May 25, was released online a couple weeks ago. Upon seeing it, I immediately remembered how much I like Wes Anderson movies.

There are some directors who try to do something different with every movie, or at least, they try to progress and change every once in a while. You wouldn't know without someone telling you that "Schindler's List" and "E.T." were directed by the same person. Martin Scorsese's made a lot of films with similar themes, but "Hugo" will never be confused with "Goodfellas," not even if someone re-scored it with a Rolling Stones song.

With a lot of directors, their movies are different, but there's a theme that threads their films together. David Fincher's films are dark. Quentin Tarantino movies are violent. The characters in Coen brothers movies like to talk.

Wes Anderson movies, however -- aside from "The Fantastic Mr. Fox," which I still haven't seen, and I know I need to, so shut up -- all look kind of the same. And that's the beauty of them. Sometimes, variety is overrated. Wes Anderson knows what he's good at, and with "Moonrise Kingdom" he's going to do it again, and God bless him for that.

This movie appears to be about a couple of kids who escape from camp to be together, upon which a search party is assembled to rescue them. And, um, that's about it. But then again, what was "The Royal Tenenbaums" about anyway? The trailer has all the marks of a Wes Anderson movie: the dreamy, evocative music (it's Francois Hardy's "Le Temps de L'Amour"), the deadpan looks, the old-timey font, the Jason Schwartzman and the Bill Murray. The Bill Murray shirtless, at that. I suppose that's something different.

So here's a director who knows his style, and isn't going to change, and I love him for that. Personally, I can't wait to see "Moonrise Kingdom." Bring on the quirk.

Barry sings Al

I know Barack Obama has taken some lumps recently, so much so that I can't just be all, "I love Obama!" without expecting some backlash in response. But still. He's made mistakes, but I still love the guy. Not just because of his politics -- and let's face it, I don't agree with everything he's been doing -- but because he seems like a decent guy with whom I'd like to have a beer. (Plus he's a hell of a lot easier on the eyes than, say, Gingrich. Think about it, voters.)

My favorite Obama moment was the time he killed a fly during an interview. My second favorite -- currently making a run at passing the fly, and at least tied with the time he appeared on Monday Night Football -- is now this one, in which he busted out with some Al Green at the Apollo Theater. It's not just endearing. That man can SING.

I'd like to propose that in place of some of these ridiculous debates, we instead have an "American Idol"-style sing-off as part of the campaign. Obama's got to be a better singer than Romney or Gingrich, right? (Though come to think of it, with that baby face, Gingrich could have some secret a cappella past.) Who's a better/worse singer, Santorum or Ron Paul?

Esquire magazine already dug up a clip of Romney "singing" for comparison. I think the president should start singing during all his speeches. May I suggest that Barry attempt some Barry White next?

The Roast Chicken Project: Ina Garten's Perfect Roast Chicken

In my last post, I forgot to mention the turducken -- a critical omission on my part. Yes, in future years, my family and friends may refer to 2011 as "the year we made turducken," as we did indeed accomplish this feat of cooking a chicken inside a duck inside a turkey. Here it is:

And now, onto Roast Chicken #2.

As a reminder, I'm trying to teach Lydia to master the roast chicken by cooking several different variations, one a week. Last week was Thomas Keller's Simple Roast Chicken. This week's was Ina Garten's, aka the Barefoot Contessa (is she really ever barefoot?) on the Food Network.

The assignment I gave Lydia was to cook Ina Garten's Perfect Roast Chicken. It's oh so different than Thomas Keller's -- rub things on the skin! stuff things inside! put vegetables underneath! Thomas Keller and his minimalist bird would faint dead away. My only instructions were to cook the recipe, and also to make potatoes, whether separately via my brother Brian's parboiling method or in the pan itself. (Note to Brian: I tried this and the bacon-wrapped James Beard roast chicken, and neither turned out great. Remind me to tell you later.)

Lydia was excited about doing an Ina Garten recipe. So she purchased the chicken Ina called for -- 5 to 6 pounds, which shocked me; what does she think she's going to put in there? -- and away she went.

Editor's note: At this I was confused. Didn't Lydia realize she was texting me? Why did she just address me in the third person? Then I realized, aaaahh, she's not writing to me, she's writing to THE BLOG. Carry on.

Well done, Lydia and Ina! Looking forward to the next one, I am contemplating recipes that call for turning, or for stuffing herbs under the skin, or lowering the temperature at a certain point, or butterflying. Or I could just give Lydia the original super-simple roast chicken recipe my mom gave me. Thoughts? Please let me have 'em!