insomnia haiku

Watching the Oscars as a civilian (or: The curious absence of hate)

Last night was my first time watching the Oscars purely as a spectator in six years. 

Years ago, I used to love watching the Oscars. I never went to Oscars parties, because people would talk over the speeches, and I wanted to catch every single minute of everything. I would order indulgent food just for me. I would revel in the show, soaking it up: the musical numbers, the jokes, the speeches. I loved watching the Oscars even when "Titanic" beat "L.A. Confidential."

Then I got a job at a movies site, and watching the Oscars that way went out the window. After a couple of years of making minor news updates, we started doing a full-court press on Oscars coverage -- news, features, photo galleries, video -- and I was put in charge. Therefore I spent every Oscars weekend stressed about the thousand things I had to take care of and the million things that could and did go wrong. Then I spent the show with one eye and ear on the ceremony while I was working, barking out instructions, putting together galleries, generating ideas, editing copy, troubleshooting disasters. We'd pay attention to the big things so that we could capture them for our readers, but we missed a lot of the little details, and we didn't have a DVR to rewind and catch them.

We did have fun, though. We always ordered good food (covering the Oscars marked the first and second time I ever sampled the heavenliness that is Dinosaur Bar-B-Que) and after a few years started adding alcohol to the mix. It was entertaining to watch the show while eating and drinking (and working) with your colleagues who knew what they were talking about, and with whom you were entered in a viciously competitive Oscars pool with results monitored by your intern on a moment-by-moment basis. 

This year, since I no longer have that position, I was finally going to get to watch the Oscars without having to work. Free! I was free at last! ("Free" in this context is not entirely a good thing, since I'm "free" of a job, but let's just go with it.) I was disappointed that this monumental work-free Oscars was going to be so boring, though. I didn't care about any of the nominees (my favorite movies last year were "Warrior" and "Bridesmaids"), and though I was oddly looking forward to Billy Crystal at host, I can't say I was excited about it.

Here's the interesting thing I noticed, though. All those years I was working the Oscars, we would sit in the room and the snark would fly freely. We hated everything. I can't even remember the last ceremony any of us thought was good. (I vaguely remember thinking Ricky Gervais was funny at his first Golden Globes, but I can't remember a single thing he did or said.) All of us thought Hugh Jackman was awful, and then were surprised the next morning to hear that most of America liked him.

Last night, as I was watching, I checked in on Twitter to see what people were saying. Most of the entertainment editors and writers I follow hated Billy Crystal's performance, loudly and consistently declaiming how unfunny he was, how old and unbearable the humor, how terrible a show it was.

I didn't necessarily disagree with any of that -- Crystal's schtick was old, and corny, and stale -- but curiously enough, as a viewer, I found that I didn't mind so much. And I realized that when I had to cover the awards for work, I approached the Oscars with a cranky, already critical eye, bemoaning how long and tedious the ceremony was getting because the longer it went, the later I'd be getting home that night; and the more boring it was, the less there'd be to write about. Though at the same time, it's far easier, and more fun, for a writer to bash something than to heap it with praise (particularly if it's faint praise).

Watching the ceremony last night as a member of Joe Q. Public, I forgave Billy Crystal a lot even as I was unmoved by him. Last year, I would have spent the entire three hours complaining about how this was the worst Oscars ceremony ever, and how the jokes were so bad and the filler so boring. This year, I thought, how mean everyone on Twitter is being! Give the guy a break -- hosting the Oscars is hard. (Just ask James Franco and Anne Hathaway. Or Rob Lowe and Snow White.) I came to the show willingly, and therefore I was rooting for it to succeed.

And in the end, I realized, does having a great host even matter? Sure, we remember Billy Crystal getting wheeled out as Hannibal Lecter or joking about Jack Palance's one-armed pushups, but that's not the reason we watch the Oscars. It's a competition: We want to see who wins. We want to root for the films we like. We want to be there when those impromptu water-cooler moments happen, like Christopher Plummer gives a charming speech, or Dean Pelton from "Community" sticks his leg out like Angelina Jolie. The rest of it, the host part? All the banter and filler? Eh, who cares? If it's funny, great; but if it's not -- if, at worst, it's inoffensive, like it was last night -- we'll sit through it just to be shocked that Meryl Streep beat Viola Davis for Best Actress, and be glad anyway because her speech was so adorable.

Sure enough, this morning there were plenty of critiques from movie critics and editors talking about how tired and unfunny Billy Crystal was and how boring the ceremony had been, and sure enough, in response there were comments from readers exclaiming that critics don't know anything, because Billy Crystal had been great.

I won't disagree that the ceremony could use some livening up, but then again, so could the movies. (Last year was a pretty off year in film.) And goodness knows Billy Crystal was just a stopgap here -- the Oscars do need someone with fresher material and a more modern take on things. But then again, it's the movies that need to be fresher and more modern, as do the Academy members that vote on them. I really am disturbed by the recent Los Angeles Times report finding that Academy members were 77 percent male and 94% white.

When it comes to the host, though, there's a limit, because the Academy doesn't want edgy, and neither do most viewers. Chris Rock was hilarious last night, but remember, he hosted the Oscars once, and he was never asked back. Last night people on Twitter were saying things like, "Let's get Robert Downey Jr. as host," or "Let's ask Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis to host" -- anything but Crystal. You think any of those actors would work as Oscars host? Please. No. You need someone a little funny, a little dull, a little safe. Because that's what America likes, and that's what Hollywood has become, and I'm not necessarily saying that as a criticism. I love Jon Stewart, but as a host he wasn't everyone's cup of tea, least of all an audience ranging from a theater full of self-important Hollywood types to millions of viewers whose favorite kind of movie is one that stars Kevin James.

Anyway. All I'm saying is while I'll always have somewhat elitist taste, I'm finally starting to get that whole "critics don't know what they're talking about" thing. Force someone to do or watch anything mediocre, and they may get stratospherically cranky about it. Stay at home with your lemon-rosemary chicken and a bottle of wine, with no pressure to do anything at all but watch the parade of stars in front of you, and maybe, just maybe, you'll give what's going on in front of you a little break.

For the record, I was fine with "The Artist" winning, but I sure hope something excites me more next year. My money's on "The Great Gatsby" or "The Hobbit."

The more other directors change, the more Wes Anderson stays the same

This trailer for the new Wes Anderson movie "Moonrise Kingdom," due out on May 25, was released online a couple weeks ago. Upon seeing it, I immediately remembered how much I like Wes Anderson movies.

There are some directors who try to do something different with every movie, or at least, they try to progress and change every once in a while. You wouldn't know without someone telling you that "Schindler's List" and "E.T." were directed by the same person. Martin Scorsese's made a lot of films with similar themes, but "Hugo" will never be confused with "Goodfellas," not even if someone re-scored it with a Rolling Stones song.

With a lot of directors, their movies are different, but there's a theme that threads their films together. David Fincher's films are dark. Quentin Tarantino movies are violent. The characters in Coen brothers movies like to talk.

Wes Anderson movies, however -- aside from "The Fantastic Mr. Fox," which I still haven't seen, and I know I need to, so shut up -- all look kind of the same. And that's the beauty of them. Sometimes, variety is overrated. Wes Anderson knows what he's good at, and with "Moonrise Kingdom" he's going to do it again, and God bless him for that.

This movie appears to be about a couple of kids who escape from camp to be together, upon which a search party is assembled to rescue them. And, um, that's about it. But then again, what was "The Royal Tenenbaums" about anyway? The trailer has all the marks of a Wes Anderson movie: the dreamy, evocative music (it's Francois Hardy's "Le Temps de L'Amour"), the deadpan looks, the old-timey font, the Jason Schwartzman and the Bill Murray. The Bill Murray shirtless, at that. I suppose that's something different.

So here's a director who knows his style, and isn't going to change, and I love him for that. Personally, I can't wait to see "Moonrise Kingdom." Bring on the quirk.

May Lucas finally rest in peace

I don't know if you've heard this in the media news already, but my company was hit with layoffs on Thursday, as a result of the Huffington Post merger. My team was hit pretty badly -- I lost almost my entire editorial team, of two associate editors. (I have one half-time staffer left.)

I don't feel comfortable discussing my feelings about this here, since it is, after all, a public forum. If you'd like to know, please reach out to me directly. Otherwise, suffice it to say that it's been a rough few days.

But even in the midst of chaos, I cling to the rare bright moments when my team (such as it is) and I can manage to produce something great. And this was it -- an Oscars-type 'In Memoriam' tribute to Corey Haim (he was snubbed from both the Oscars and Globes montages), who died a year ago this week. On top of that, we got Corey Feldman to narrate our video.

I'm intensely proud of this video, which made me tear up -- granted, the emotional state I was in may have contributed to that -- and also made me want to watch 'Lucas' again. Oh, that kid. Rest in peace, Lucas.

This week's video obsessions: teenagers singing about dreams, and a silly old bear

I don't listen to the radio anymore, so I have no idea about today's popular music. (I couldn't identify a Justin Bieber song if my life depended on it.) The only way I ever hear this stuff is if it's on a TV show -- like Glee, a show that, if I'm being honest, is pretty silly and not particularly good 85 percent of the time. But I love musicals and singing, so I tune in faithfully every week.

Anyway, after last week's episode I'm obsessed with this song "Teenage Dream." Which was apparently already kind of a popular hit by someone named "Katy Perry" (just kidding, I know who Katy Perry is, though I have zero idea what songs she sings -- YES I AM OLD), but of course I had never heard it before. And now I can't get the damn thing out of my head, except sung not by Katy Perry but by fresh-faced prep school boys who rather remind me of the men's a cappella group I loved in college. (The term "groupie" would not have been inappropriate here.)

The fist-pumping in the scene may be a little much, but otherwise -- for whatever reason -- I very much dig this.

 

And speaking of obsessions, I didn't expect much when I heard there was a new Winnie the Pooh trailer out, as Pooh was never one of my favorite characters. But something about this trailer just hits me right in the soft spot of what someone might call a heart. I think it's the fact that they got the original guy to do Pooh's voice, or perhaps it's the song, which naturally I can't identify (though this one, I had heard before). Whatever it is, please watch this. You'll be surprised at how lovely it is.

And now, something non-apartment-related for a change (also, completely awesome)

Up until this past week, whenever I thought of Dolph Lundgren, I thought solely of his line in Rocky IV: "I must break you." Other than that, really, nothing. I'm not a huge fan of action movies, so I knew little else about the man.

But no more. Based on the surprise (to some of us, anyway) success of The Expendables, we had our assistant put together this article about Dolph Lundgren and how he's a modern Renaissance man. It's kind of amazing. He's kind of amazing. Did you know he went to MIT? I did not.  

And then there's this video of Lundgren singing "A Little Less Conversation" in Sweden's Eurovision Song Contest qualifying competition. (Bonus: It gives me yet one more reason for me to love Anthony Lane's New Yorker piece on the song contest, because it provided the context as to exactly what this is.)

Please, for the love of Elvis, do yourself a favor and watch this immediately. I dare say Dolph gives us a better "Come on, come on!" than Marky Mark ever did. And he breaks stuff! And grunts! AND DANCES. Dolph Lundgren, I bow down to you.

PS Read the article, too. Our assistant really outdid himself. I love that actual burglars ran from Dolph in terror.

I went to Comic-Con and all I brought you was this lousy picture of a ballpoint pen stabber

Hello insomnia my old friend ... I've come to talk to you again ...

So Comic-Con was pretty good, and I wrote a post about it when I got back, but I had taken a rather large half of an Ambien which went to my head rather quickly, and fortunately for all of us, I didn't actually publish the thing.

Anyway, for the most part, these were the highlights (I wrote the movies part). The Marvel panel was pretty outstanding -- I'm hardly as movie geeky as a lot of people, but I completely freaked out when they showed footage from Thor and Captain America and then brought out the Avengers cast. (Mark Ruffalo as Hulk? Well, we'll see, I guess. Interestingly enough, before that happened, someone asked about Edward Norton being fired, and the producer gave a stock "for the good of the team" answer, and people started booing. Boy, Norton must really be an asshole for them not to want to work with him that badly.

Three more things before I attempt to fall asleep.

1. In case you did not hear, at the Resident Evil panel, some guy stabbed another guy in the eye with a ballpoint pen. Over a seat! Craziness! And they shut down the hall for a while. I wasn't there, but I saw the cops leading him away, and I got a not-very-good picture. I don't think I'd make a good photojournalist -- at least not with my iPhone, which is so slow these days I'm sure someone at the Apple offices is jamming it so that I'm forced to buy a new one.

Some cameraman ran over afterward and told us he overheard the stabber telling another cameraman that the two men had attacked each other, and that the other guy was on top of him, and I guess that's the stabbing happened? I don't know. So ... strange. 

Anyway, here's the not-very-good picture.

2. I did get oddly excited over seeing Harrison Ford make a surprise appearance at the Cowboys and Aliens panel. (It's kind of a sci-fi Western co-starring Daniel Craig and directed by Jon Favreau.) It makes you realize that there are actors, and there are stars. And no matter how little I follow Ford's movies anymore, he's still a movie star, of a stature that's rare these days. He's a staaaah. And since they let those of us with special seating passes (of which I had one, for the Marvel panel, following that one) in too early, they stuck us in the green room, and therefore I was ten feet from Harrison Ford when the cast came back for a picture. Eeeek! (Again, Harrison Ford ... who knew?)

3. My favorite moment of Comic-Con: At the Green Lantern panel, a little kid shyly asked Ryan Reynolds about what it was like to recite the Green Lantern oath. And then, with a smile, he launched into it: "In brightest day, in blackest night ..." ending with a growled, "Green Lantern's light!" Then, when the kid held up his Green Lantern ring, Reynolds held up his own ring in response. And then he signed a comic book for him. It was one of the most adorable things I've ever seen. In fact, don't take my word for it; just watch:

Can you blame me if I now have a little bit of a crush on Ryan Reynolds? OK, fine... a lot of a crush?

4. Other than Thor and Captain America, I saw footage from:

- the new Harry Potter (looks really good, actually)

- Zack Snyder's Sucker Punch (I cannot stand Zack Snyder's movies -- think he ruined Watchmen, and 300 was just dumb -- but the stuff shown was very stylish and evocative, which confuses my hatred; but then again all the women characters spend the entire trailer wearing bustiers, so maybe my record of hate will ultimately remain untainted)

- Paul (alien comedy starring Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, yay! looks hilarious)

- Green Lantern (well, I liked it, but all the disappointed fanboys afterward couldn't get over that he wasn't wearing the suit)

- Super (Rainn Wilson and Nathan Fillion, plus Ellen Page whom I love; I cared far less about the footage than the moment when a fan asked "Who would win in a fight, Dwight Schrute or Captain Mal?" and Wilson and Fillion got up and wrestled [Dwight won])

- Cowboys and Aliens (bold-looking and impressive -- and I mean, come on! James Bond and Han Solo fight each other!)

That really is the useful thing about Comic-Con for work, anyway. You learn about movies you barely knew anything about before.

And I went to a bunch of parties, and they were fun, and I saw almost the entire cast of Community (Abed with no Troy in sight? I kind of like to think of them hanging out all the time, even in real life), and Richard Jenkins which was kind of exciting for some reason, and had a few really good meals the best of which was at Cucina Urbana (go!), and just soaked in the weirdness that is Comic-Con. I'll leave you with this picture:

Oh and one more thing... If you've seen Inception, you might like our latest movie club. Or you might not, seeing as how someone commented that "the main woman" (that's me) doesn't know anything and "has no right to speak." Well then. With that, I will shut up. (Except to say that my questions were still not answered to my satisfaction! If they all fall asleep at the same time, how is it determined who the dreamer is??)

WARNING: SPOILERS ABOUND

Moviefone Movie Club: Inception

New York, We Love You

I have watched this ode to New York City in the movies 10 times now. Yes, I am biased, because I a) commissioned it, and b) live in New York. But I love it -- the city, and the mashup -- and it made me proud, and it made me tear up a little. The montage of shots of the Empire State Building is my favorite part, or maybe it's the scene from Ghostbusters followed by On the Town. "He's a sailor! He's in New York!"

I'm considering doing another one on a different city -- say, Los Angeles. But would it really be the same?

How to Fix the Oscars?

Oscars night is behind me, and after the usual days of stress, working until 3 am on Sunday night (the difference this time: Dinosaur BBQ and endless alcohol -- yes, in the office, not too shabby) and waking up to a full day of follow-up (difference this time: 7:25 am radio interview, though the host sneakily called me ten minutes early), I've been nearly comatose all day. Yet suddenly find myself too wound up to sleep. Isn't that always the way?

Oh, and this is what I've been working on, by the way. Lick it up, baby! Lick it up.

Another thing I'd been meaning to mention, as part of our Oscars coverage, was the Oscars movie club I started -- selfishly, because I hadn't seen all the films. So I forced myself to get to it by creating a whole editorial feature around it: We'd watch, and encourage readers to watch, some of the nominated films, and we'd talk about them via video podcast. You can see the Hurt Locker one here, Inglourious Basterds here, The Blind Side here, and Crazy Heart here. In these, I do my McLaughlin best to impersonate a host, and I always hate how I look on camera, but they're kind of fun. Hope we get to keep doing them now that Oscars are over.

And what did I think of the Oscars, you might ask? I think I screamed when they called out Kathryn Bigelow's name for Best Director, and was still reeling from that when Tom Hanks called out, with no preamble, The Hurt Locker. It was the better movie. I'm glad it won. It just makes me sad -- from reading comments across our site today -- that anything thoughtful, small, unconventional or smart is immediately ridicule and torn to shreds.

"How could Avatar not win! It's the biggest movie of the year!" Those people, presumably, didn't see Hurt Locker, and never would. Then there are "I can't stand that un-American movie that makes a mockery of and spreads lies about our brave soldiers! I know because my uncle is a soldier!" And finally, "I was bored and I fell asleep. What kind of war movie is this where nothing happens?"

There's no way to win, is there. There's big box office blockbusters seen by everyone, and little indies seen by no one, and the twain shall rarely meet. I would say I can't believe people would spend so much time railing against something they've never even seen ("I haven't seen this but I would hate it!"), but then again, it's not like I've spent a lot of time watching Paul Blart Mall Cop and Glenn Beck.

Onward to the Oscars. Loved Neil Patrick Harris (our readers hate him -- because he's gay, you know), very much liked the hosts (readers: "painful," "embarrassing," "boring," "hated them") and of course, was pleased that Hurt Locker and especially Bigelow won ("AVATAR WAS ROBBED!") Just think, a first black president and then a first female director winning Best Oscar within two years ... what's next?

I will say that I loved the John Hughes tribute -- made me cry, particularly when all the Brat Packers walked out. (I would like to think that they still meet secretly in detention hall every Saturday.) And the opening scene from Up, and the dead-people montage ... that was a very sad stretch of time.

But then, the dancing. Oh, the dancing. For this, you took away my beloved Best Song performances? What was even going on up on that stage? I don't know, because I, like millions of other people, was heading for the bathroom. Oh, Adam Shankman, get your head out of your ass -- this is the movies, not Broadway.

But don't forget -- that horror movie montage? Whhyyyy? It's not even as if we had a big horror movie this year, or Wes Craven died. And then not all the movies were actually horror films. Twilight? Fight Club? Beetlejuice? Um, no. Horror montage FAIL.

Ah well, if I were asked to host the Oscars, I would bring back the Best Song performances, and I would allow time to give tributes to people who deserve it, like Lauren Bacall, and I would have more clever clip (relevant) montages because I like those, and I would have more surprise comings-together of old castmates, like the Brat Pack. The Oscars can't focus on live performances like the Grammys do, or alcohol like the Golden Globes do, but surely there's a way they can loosen things up? Some say get rid of the hosts altogether -- but I say, give the job to NPH, who's already done a brilliant job hosting the Tony and the Emmys. The public will hate him at first, sure, but then they'll get to know him -- all, everyone thought Billy Crystal was gay once, too, mmm?

Review Haiku: Shutter Island

Sorry! I really should have done this Friday. I'm going to have to start setting an alarm or something.

Leo scowls, tenses
Music swells! But though they try,
Not Scorsese's best.

I hate to put Scorsese in a box. I appreciate that he tried to do something new here. But Shutter Island doesn't really play to his strengths -- he's best at muscular movies, at character, at cinematography, at a story driven by elemental impulses. This movie's all about hallucinations and tension and spooky creepy crazy. I'm not saying he shouldn't attempt to make movies other than ones about cops and gangsters, and after all, he has done "different" movies well before (The Age of Innocence, Cape Fear -- though I'm not a fan of The Aviator). It's just that Scorsese seems to be trying so hard here, but the general effect comes off as overdone and even hammy at times, rather than atmospheric and suspenseful. I would've loved to see another director tackle this, such as Guillermo del Toro or Terry Gilliam or Ang Lee.

There's one scene, a flashback to Dachau that DiCaprio's character is having, that typifies my problem with Scorsese's direction in this movie. I won't tell you what happens in it, in case you'd rather not know. But the way Scorsese has chosen to shoot that scene is "cinematic" yet completely at odds with how it would happen in real life. It bugged me. I thought, Marty, you're better than this. Why would you suddenly go stupid for the sake of a shot?

I do appreciate Scorsese attempting to stretch, but the movie I actually want him to make is The Great Gatsby, set in New York City. He'll never do it, of course, because that's the movie he fictionally directed in Entourage, and of course he'd never stoop to doing something in reality that was inspired by a TV show storyline. Still. I think he'd do a bang-up job, don't you?

As for Shutter Island, it certainly wasn't a bad movie; it held my interest and was better than I thought it'd be (given all the gossip about its quality after the release date was moved from last fall to the dregs of February). But that's about the best I can say for it. Also: I'm sick of Leonardo DiCaprio playing tortured souls who could explode into violence at any moment. I'd love for him to make a comedy. OH! Maybe he could play Gatsby in Scorsese's movie?

The Few, the Proud, the Brave Souls Who Didn't Love 'Avatar' -- Fight With Me!

'Idol'! Globes! Grammys! Oscars! Fun month. And if I were anyone else (with another job), I suppose I might actually mean it when I said "fun month."

Anywhoo, I'm recovering from Globes, which were Sunday. I managed to see Avatar that afternoon, and yes, in IMAX 3-D -- so when the movie won Best Drama I felt sufficiently well-informed to say "Nooooooo!"

Not that I didn't enjoy it -- which I did, more than I'd thought I would -- and find it visually impressive and entertaining; it's just that parts of the movie are so ridiculous. In particular, the dialogue, of which Sigourney Weaver gets the worst. At this point, James Cameron isn't even bothering to try with her. ("Man, this is going to ruin my whole day!" And then so many parts of the movie seem lifted from others: the rousing speech, made by a warrior who has his face painted [and is] blue (Braveheart), white man learning the ways of the natives (Dances With Wolves), flying pterodactyl things (Lord of the Rings, The Wizard of Oz), charging wildebeast things (Lord of the Rings), massive armies assembling from distant lands (Lord of the Rings) ... you get the point.

Ah well, it's grand for sure, and I can see why people love it. I don't. Why should any of this be a surprise? It's an epic movie the way that Titanic was an epic movie, and while The Hurt Locker or Up in the Air or even Up may be better films, no one cares about "better films." They care about MOVIES. Big, loud, simple, showy movies like Avatar. Something like The Hurt Locker, well, yeah, it's a great movie, but ... no one saw it. No one cares. It's the tree falling in the middle of the forest, and people don't tune into the biggest movie event all year just to see lonely little trees on stage. They want the giant trees that make noise when they fall, that everyone notices ... and now I've run this little metaphor straight into the ground, haven't I?

Well, read this post-Globes column from our resident Oscarologist, which is nice and reasoned and polite until he gets to the end and slams James Cameron. Love it.

I was going to say more -- partly about the weird 30-minute radio interview I did today where the host kept trying to make me trash Avatar, and callers popped up asking me questions I wasn't always prepared to answer ("What was the big deal about that movie Up in the Air? ... Because i didn't like it!") but my version of the Gambler's boredom has overtaken me, and so, good night.